Man, I Love Boobies

I have to admit, breastfeeding has come with its challenges and  I think everyone has their hurdles.  It definitely was a bit of shock to the 'ol nipples. Yeow!  I just kept at perfecting his latch until we found what is now working for us. Then there is the energy it takes to feed a baby. There are definitely times you find yourself so exhausted you just wish you could detach a boob and hand it over to the papa.  Then there are the days he gets so boobay crazed you think he is never going to detach.  I imagine myself walking around with this ever growing baby hanging off one of my tittays.  Haha!  AND then I find myself enjoying the moments that make me feel so good about what I am doing. To be able to sit down and gaze at my lil nugget all snuggled up to my breast nursing away is pretty priceless.  I am in awe at how my body is made, providing nourishment to this growing chunk of a boy. As each lil roll of baby chub appears I am so tickled with joy at my accomplishment.  There are the moments in feeling strong in my femaleness. It's about being at the grocery store and finding myself with a hungry baby and all I have to do is pop a boobie in his mouth. Talk about convenience.  Doesn't get much easier than that.  Comes in handy hiking around these beautiful mountains with my lil' guy. Really do love my boobies.

My Birthing Story

It has been awhile since I have blogged.  Everything has become a whirlwind and time passed by.  As things settle I feel ready to write about my uninterrupted birthing experience at home.  I feel very fortunate to have been surrounded by those I love, supporting me by being there and giving me sacred space.  I also am so thankful to have such skilled midwives trusting me to birth my baby as women of long ago. 

Things began to stir July 21^st early in the morn.  My uterus was warming up at a slow pace. .  It could have been a tease (it was my guess date afternall) but it felt different. I went ahead and gave my midwives, mom and sister a call to let them know what  was up.  I rested and begin to prepare for the possible journey ahead. Zac and his mom Becky occupied themselves by preparing cucumbers to be made into tasty pickles.

Everything started to get  in sync and find rhythm, gently.. slowly.  I let my mom and sister know because they were traveling from a distance.  They were also bringing back my eldest son Stefen, he was visiting my mom.  They were on their way.

Eventually in the afternoon I began to get restless and Zac and I decided to go for a walk in our neighborhood. At that point things stopped and I became worried that I was having my mom and sister drive here for nothing.  What could I do?  It is the nature of birth. Upon returning I thought it a good time to begin my “birth project” which was to make and bake a blueberry pie.  I had fantasized about picking blueberries from the bushes in the backyard on Orlen’s birth day.  Alas, they were ripe and ready but the birds had gotten to them first.  Not enough to make a pie with.  Next year perhaps.  I made the innards of the pie and Zac made the crust.  I wouldn’t get a piece of that pie for a few days.  My body was feeling the waves again.

Stefen, my mom and sister arrived early evening.  It wasn’t long after that, that Zac and I retreated to my room to rest.  At this point the hypnobabies scripts became very helpful.  It was much easier to relax as the birthing waves started to amp up.  I found myself moving into various positions to work with my body as it worked towards birthing our baby boy.  At some point I entered the birthing tub seeking more help in letting go.  Working through the birthing waves in water is the way to go ladies!  Weightlessness allowed me to just float and go further inside myself as everything continued to move forward. At this point Zac called the midwives and told them it would be a good idea if they made they way over here.

Now able to completely let go I found myself not in this world anymore, and time ceased to exist.  A powerful force rippled through my body with each contraction.  I sang out my song for Orlen, working to bring him into this world.  The birth continued to move forward.

I remember at a certain point during active labor feeling very tired, wondering if I could continue at this pace much longer.  All I wanted to do was crawl into my bed and fall asleep.  The pain was becoming overwhelming and I was starting to doubt myself.  I took a moment and shook off those feelings, telling myself I could do it; that all I needed to do was surrender to the process.  I remember that the word surrender resonated so strongly within me, giving me strength. It wasn’t long after that I felt a pop.  My water had broken.  I held onto that word surrender. Moments later I started to feel the urge to push and push I did.  I pushed and pushed and pushed.  I started to feel discouraged because I felt like I wasn’t making any progress.  I asked my midwives if there was something else I could do because this wasn’t working for me anymore.  They asked if I would like to go into the bathroom and sit on the toilet and I thought that sounded great.  I lifted myself out of the water ands scrambled for the bathroom.  I was afraid that I wouldn’t make it before the next contraction came on.    I sat on the toilet clinging to Zac for strength as each wave ripped through me and I continued pushing my baby out.  It was here I felt like I was starting to make progress and indeed I was.  It wasn’t too much longer that I pushed our son out into this world.  Becky quickly had me stand and our midwife caught our baby. Out he was sunny side up.  He was in my arms in seconds and all was right in the world.  The veil lifted and I was instantly snapped back from the land of birthing. 

Nearly twenty-four hours after the beginning of labor, Orlen was born at 4:55 in the morning, weighing 8 pounds and 4 ounces with a length of 20 inches.  He was welcomed into this world surrounded by much love.